This Manufacturing Line Has Hit a Snag
FUNNY THINGS! --> But what things?
On January 20, 2024, I wrote a whole list of newsletter ideas down in my idea book. It’s seven pages long. Sometimes, I have so many ideas I don’t even know what to do with them.
Today is not that day.
I’ve been noodling on what to write about all day. Yesterday, I thought I knew what it was going to be but then I realized that the premise of the post was actually the premise of every paid subscriber issue I wrote for the first couple of years of this very newsletter.
For context, here’s what I thought the spark was:
Earlier this week, I made myself a grilled turkey and cheese sandwich. Even though not completely attentive to the cooking process, I usually do a pretty good job of keeping at least a bit of an eye on something like that. This time, I was late. When I flipped the sandwich over, the backside was a little bit burnt. Not burnt enough that I wasn’t going to eat it (throw out food willy nilly? In this economy?!?!) but burnt enough that I figured I should scrape the bread a little bit. After the sandwich set for a minute or two, I took the back of a dinner knife and started scraping…towards me. Instead of away from me. Also, I didn’t even think to scrape over the sink. So, there where blackened specks of toast flying everywhere. First directly into my eye. Then all over the counter and floor. And finally, down my shirt. Because that’s where wayward food always ends up. It was such a silly little mistake that I couldn’t help but laugh. Well, I walked away and brushed the crumbs from my bosom first and then laughed.
Not a particularly interesting story but, I thought, good enough to get me started on something. But I’ve told stories like this before. A bunch of stories like this. Including the time I kept glass in the shower which obviously, fell and shattered while I was, also, in the shower.
(Post is unlocked for all subscribers now.)
Here’s another wrench in this post. Writing about not knowing what to write about? That’s right, I’ve already done that too.
Dammit past Samantha! Taking all the ideas!
Part of the idea of banking the blackened sandwich tidbit for this week was because I was hoping for a little levity. I like levity as part of the cadence. A couple of posts that are serious and/or gloomy and/or existential and/or about big things (or small things that represent big things). Then a post that’s a bit more light-hearted. Once I realized I had already used both the light-hearted ideas that were at the top of mind, that’s when I turned to the “Newsletter Ideas” list from over a year ago.
The list, as mentioned, is long and has a few good ideas, a decent amount of decent ideas, and—as is required for any creative person—a few stinkers. These two caught my eye right away:
*I should note, I’m not seeking reassurance by posting that first one. That’s literally just an idea I wrote down. Truly. So…don’t worry. Okay?? Okay.
So, here we are. Again. Apparently full of ideas but also completely out of them. It’s a full circle moment, I guess. Or an ouroboros. I’m just constantly eating my own tail.
Obviously, part of the issue is that when you want to be light-hearted, when you try to be funny, those are the times when you will be, most likely, neither light-hearted nor funny. I want to bask in some levity right now which is probably exactly why I’m finding it hard to do so. I would guess that is probably true for many of you as well. Among people in my circle, the feeling I get is that there is a need to be at least partly informed but not too much because it’s overwhelming and sad. Which then also means that we all want to augment being informed with something that inspires in us the *happy face* emoji or the *laugh crying* emoji or the *loving aww* emoji. It’s hard to manufacture moments to get yourself there. It’s not impossible. That’s a large part of what Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is about—retraining your brain to take the more positive turn of whatever negative road it’s trying to go down. At least it has been for me.
Still, it can be hard to manufacture levity. Or create funny moments. You can’t purposefully fill up your silicone ice tray, put it in the freezer then roughly grab it moments later when you need some ice, spilling water all down your front and get the same reaction you would if it were a complete accident. I mean, you could have just grabbed the silicone tray that was already frozen instead. No need to go to this length to create a moment for shaking your head and chuckling slightly at the silliness of it all.
Or, you can’t probably see the irony ahead of time of buying a plant, naming it Dead Tom, and putting it in a skull planter only to have it die three days later.
I mean, you can, I guess. You can highlight the irony and turn that into a hilarious story that you tell at parties. But I think people can smell a manufactured story from a mile away. Best to just let them smell the rotting leaves on their own and wonder, “Hm. What’s that smell?”
Maybe it’s impressive that I’m going to such lengths to think of something funnily embarrassing enough to share with all of you. Maybe it’s impressive that I laid face down on my bed for a good 20 minutes trying to remember the silly little mistakes I’ve made that I haven’t already told you so we can all have a bit of a good time this Sunday evening. Maybe.
Probably not, though.
Mostly, this exercise has made me come away with this thought: who let me out on my own unsupervised?! Good god, I need an adult.
But then I thought: well there are a bunch of people out here who are supposedly supervised who are running amuck and causing all sorts of literally and figuratively devastating situations for a whole host of people which, in turn, makes me want to send a newsletter edition where the only thing that is devastating is how devastatingly funny (and gorgeous) I am. Good god, they need the adults.
In the end, I guess, my two newsletter ideas from January 2024 of “Being a fun person…was I ever?” and “FUNNY THINGS! → but what things?” will have to wait for another day when this here manufacturing line isn’t so overly greasy, worn down, and stop-y and start-y.
Distant stare? Dead eyes? Seem about right.
THANK YOU for reading. Very seriously, thank you. If you’d like to learn more about the newsletter, here’s my About page. It’s about…me…and this…newsletter.
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