A Hate Letter
The Week in Selfies: 11/16/20 - 11/22/20
Well, hi there.
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Alright Lilith.
Alright.
So you read last week’s letter. I’m guessing you weren’t a fan of how I painted you and you wanted to let me know. Or maybe you were happy and just wanted to show yourself again, to prove your loyalty. Well, either way, you were successful.
And I’m not happy Lilith.
Imagine my surprise when, on Wednesday, I went from walking fully upright to laid out on the street with no warning. All I wanted was to get a few groceries and send back my Target items. I didn’t want new gravel accessories for my palms, my knees, and my ankles. In my stunned state, there was a brief moment where I thought my ankle was broken. But I thought, “Oh no. Lilith wouldn’t be that cruel. She couldn’t be.”
You managed to cap your strength this time it seems. It’s not broken. But it is sprained. And the bruises aren’t coming in in festive colors like I would like. If I am going to be injured, shouldn’t I at least get to have bruises in red and green. Maybe a little bit of gold? A holiday tree for a foot, is that too much to ask??
No no. Instead, it’s plain old bruise colors. Plain old bruise colors that I have to look at constantly because I have to keep my foot elevated. I keep a strict regime of icing it too. I’m cold, Lilith. I’M COLD.
Last week, I said that I think you are taking care of me in your own way. That thought went straight out of my head when I was disoriented, face to pavement, trying to figure out how I went from stepping off the curb to having more scrapes on me than an elementary school kid on a concrete playground. I don’t think you take care of me, Lilith. I think you just want to make sure I don’t underestimate your power.
I just wanted to return my Target items and get some almond milk and ketchup.
So, in addition to the $23.06 you owe me for band-aids, I am requesting you come and take my package to Fed-Ex. It is the very least you could do.
There is no nice sign-off for this letter, Lilith. GO TO YOUR ROOM AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU’VE DONE.
Limpingly yours,
Samantha
Monday, November 16, 2020
The sideways mouth means I’m thinking about something. Probably.
Tuesday, November 17, 2020
Quite a workout.
Wednesday, November 18, 2020
I’m cold here too.
Thursday, November 19, 2020
Another ornament from a wonderful friend.
Friday, November 20, 2020
The theme for happy hour was History Channel. So…this is…what I…did.
Saturday, November 21, 2020
I look great in holiday lighting.
Sunday, November 22, 2020
Yes, I am holding a Corona. I am very clever.
This week, paying subscribers got a 1-minute play about the double standards of superhero-ing. If that sounds intriguing to you, consider becoming a paid subscriber.