A Love Letter
The Week in Selfies: 11/9/20 - 11/15/20
Well, hi there. This week’s funny is from me.
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A love letter to the phantom of my mysterious injuries.
Lilith-
There are times when I think you have abandoned me. Times where I move through the world in a manner that could be considered “graceful.” I walk with confidence and purpose. I know when to keep my eyes forward, when to look to the side, and when, exactly, to avoid something on a collision course with my body. Those times are peaceful but empty; with all my blood safely on my insides, it is easy to forget I am a fallible human being.
But you never stay away for long.
All of a sudden I look down and notice a scratch along my forearm, a bruise on my shin, a slight cut on my hand with a tinge of red. I never know when or where, but I know you have visited. When I forget how to use my limbs, flailing about wildly, you’ll remind me with a run in with a door frame or the stub of a toe. If my senses have run away from me, you’ll bring them back wrapped up in a colorful gift.
In your own way, I think you are trying to take care of me.
Lilith, you are an agent of my klutziness, a ghost of chaos. Though not always welcome, you are always a surprise. I am writing to say thank you. Thank you for reminding me to occasionally watch where I am going, to keep my hands and legs inside the moving vehicle, to watch out for body checks with counters and the edge of my bed. Thank you for coming in like a slight wind followed by an unexpected rain that leaves you drenched, smiling skyward, and desperate for a towel. You are a creative and mischievous sprite.
I am also writing because it is that time of year; the bill has come due. You owe me $23.06 for band-aids for the last six months. I accept cash or venmo, your choice. Payment is due as soon as possible.
You are always welcome, of course, but as you can see, for your own financial sake, it might be best to postpone any further visits until after the holidays.
And Lilith, where did you come from, where did you go, where did you come from (cotton eyed joe)?
With resigned love,
your blood sister, Samantha
Monday, November 9, 2020
Moody.
Tuesday, November 10, 2020
“Loaded.”
Wednesday, November 11, 2020
She even does yoga.
Thursday, November 12, 2020
Yes, that is my face as per ush.
Friday, November 13, 2020
There is nothing like the excitement of celebrating a friend’s day o’ birth.
Saturday, November 14, 2020
Lilith, you sneaky bitch.
Sunday, November 15, 2020
She even even cleans!
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