You're cordially invited to the No Pants Party
The Week in Selfies: 7/6/20 - 7/12/20
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Dear Samantha,
Samantha Cooper would like to cordially invite you to the event of this and every season:
The No Pants Party
No RSVP necessary. Details below.
Where: My single person apartment. Where I live alone. For the first time ever. Something I thought would never happen as long as I lived in New York. But it’s happening. I live alone. So the party is here.
When: Starting June 2020. And then…pick a day. Any day. Oh, that day? Yeah, that day is fine. That day is also good. Yes, literally any day.
Time: Every freakin’ hour of the day.
Decor: Unpacked boxes. A couchless living room that I walk by and sigh at. The wall mounted coat rack that I mounted myself. Blood red tile in the kitchen. Zero rugs. A well-made bed.
Snacks & Drinks: Uh…whatever is in the fridge and on the shelves. There are baking supplies! (It’s too hot to bake.) There’s probably some whiskey and some vodka on the bar cart. (No mixers. Those live at the store.) Carbs. Carbs with cheese. Definitely definitely carbs with cheese. At the very least, a box of macaroni and cheese. (Which is, ostensibly, carbs with cheese.)
Theme: Denial! Or pandemic chic!
Dress code: Fancy. Elegant. No pants.
Special Guests appearances by: Moira Rose. Nick Miller. Karen & Georgia. Wadsworth. Kermit the Frog. Sylvie wanders through from time to time. Dominique Morriseau. The Belcher Family. Daria Morgendorfer. A bunch of Canadian home reno people. The Kingdom of Arcadia. The version of Greg Allman that is much hotter than my mom remembers. Nicole Byer. Guy Fieri. (No, I’m not kidding.) And many many more!
So, join me at this, the most anticipated event of 2020. You can stay all night but lights out promptly at 1:30am(ish), okay?
See you then!
Monday, July 6, 2020
Yes, the party has already started.
Tuesday, July 7, 2020
Since we were all inside constantly, I instituted a routine where I would read after work to signify the end of the work day even though I wasn’t going anywhere. It helped the ye olde brain box. I’m reading Heavy: An American Memoir by Kiese Laymon here. Would recommend.
Wednesday, July 8, 2020
Working for the weekend, huh, Samantha?
Thursday, July 9, 2020
This is not a podcast or a YouTube video so this is not an ad for Brooklinen. But also, these are some nice sheets, y’all.
Friday, July 10, 2020
My move used to be that when I went to close out my tab at any given bar, I would order a shot and then pay. This is not a good move. You never need that final shot.
Now it appears I won’t even fill my shot glass up the whole way. Ah, growing up.
Saturday, July 11, 2020
*Gasp.* The elusive Samantha specimen is spotted outside.
Sunday, July 12, 2020
I cannot be held responsible for what I do with my label maker.
This week, paying subscribers learned about the time I did this. If that sounds intriguing to you, consider becoming a paid subscriber.
