You can't tell me he's not real!
Slipping all over the icy knoll that is December.
Brrrrr.
I am continuing on with the subscription donation project. For December…I have not picked the organization yet. If you have any suggestions and/or requests, feel free to send them along. Once I pick one, I’ll post it here. If you are new here (welcome!) or need a refresher, you can always find more details of the project on my About page. Also, if you want to be a matching donor, let me know.
I have also decided to extend the paid subscription discount offer! Paid subscriptions are 10% off for the whole next year as a celebration for NYC Decade-aversary. If you want to upgrade, now is a great time.
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For the amount of time I spend thinking about the newsletter, there are some weeks where I just can’t seem to come up with a topic.
My mind goes blank. Or, well, it stays soupy. By that, I mean, my brain often feels like alphabet soup. Some days, there are words but most of the time it’s just letters sloshing around up there.
Additionally, I feel like a real Debbie Downer these days and I felt like I wanted to enter into December in a more festive place. In writing, anyway. So, I took inspiration from past Samantha, who ran into a similar not-sure-what-to-write-about issue during last year’s Spooky Season and used the opportunity to ask herself icebreaker questions and then answer them herself. Twice.
Yes, my friends, this week’s newsletter is full of holiday-themed icebreaker questions about me, myself, and I to push you onto the icy knoll that is December. Merry happy and all that.
Favorite outdoor winter activity?
Outside?? That’s hilarious. Next question.
Did you have snow days in school as a kid?
Rarely. Very rarely. In eastern Washington (state), it didn’t really matter how high the snow was, you still got yourself to school or work. The only time I remember having time off of school because of the weather was Ice Storm ‘96 and that’s because the power was out everywhere.
Favorite memories of winter as a child?
Probably sledding with my Brother when we were kids. Our front yard was sloped enough that we could sled down it which made this particular snow activity very convenient. Mom or Dad would push us (usually Dad) and we would go sailing down the short yard dropping hard over some rocks onto the sidewalk and then into the cul de sac. We were close to hot chocolate at any given moment and no one ever got hit by a car.
White Christmas or tropical Christmas?
For as much as I am usually not a fan of snow, White Christmas definitely. I usually (always) spend the holidays with my parents in Spokane, Washington and it is usually snowing around Christmas. Since I don’t have to go anywhere while I’m there (and often actively avoid going outside for fear of running into someone from high school who’s name I don’t remember), I really enjoy watching the snow fall. It’s the best ambiance.
Favorite Christmas movie?
Look, there are so many good ones and classic ones and I love so many of them but, you know, it’s The Muppet Christmas Carol hands down. It’s the definitive version. So much of the actual text from the book is used, Michael Caine is acting his ass off, and Marley and Marley are my favorite ghost hecklers.
Which character from a holiday movie do you relate to the most?
In that same vein, Gonzo as Charles Dickens in The Muppet Christmas Carol. He spends the whole movie having fun telling the story but also having to explain how he knows the story and what a writer actually does which feels…write. I mean, right.
Favorite Christmas album(s)?
The Time-Life Treasury of Christmas. A Charlie Brown Christmas album. Ana Gasteyer’s Sugar and Booze. I still maintain she sings the best cover of You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch.
If you want some more holiday music fun, join me over at A Very Samantha Cooper Christmas.
What Christmas carol gets stuck in your head the most?
Carol of the Bells. We sang it a capella when I was in choir in high school. It was one of those songs where, slowly but surely, the whole choir would eventually end up off-key so our choir director often had us come up and sing it in quartets to try and show us how to stay on key. (To figure out who was off-key.)
Favorite holiday commercial of all time?
He does exist!
They do exist!
What humorous Christmas cards have you sent or received?
How old were you when you stopped believing in Santa?
Um…what are you saying? What do you mean “stopped”?? Santa is real, ya goober!!
Favorite hot beverage during winter?
I am mostly a cold-beverages-all-year-round sort of person but I can definitely get down with a Hot Toddy or two (or three) during the winter.
Favorite holiday treat?
Of course, there are any number of homemade treats I love during this time of year. But my brain went immediately to the Starbucks Cranberry Bliss Bars. I haven’t had one in so long. And now that’s all I want.
Thoughts on mistletoe?
Ohhhh, I don’t know. Why? Did mistletoe say something about me?
Most interesting holiday decoration you own?
I don’t know if these are the most interesting decorations I own but they are two of the most interesting ornaments I own. People who know me in real life will not be surprised by these. People who don’t know me will probably think I’m super weird to be so excited by these which is…not untrue.
The one on the left is from the Etsy listing because I can’t seem to find mine on my tree. But it looks like that except it says 2020.
Christmas ornament(s) are you most sentimental about?
On the left is a memorial ornament for my Grandma Mocky (maternal grandma) and the one on the right is my very 1st ornament.
White Christmas tree lights or multi-colored lights?
I definitely use white string lights as regular lighting all year round so I tend to be partial to the multi-colored lights during the winter holidays.
Would you rather give or receive gifts?
GIVE.
Give give give give give.
Give.
The best $5 gift to give someone?
A $5 bill.
Most embarrassing reaction to receiving a gift?
Most of them. I have a hard time being in situations where I feel like I am being expected to react a certain way so I usually just make things awkward by trying to be gracious but not too gracious and smiling but not smiling too hard or wide so it looks disingenuous. JUST KEEP YOUR FACE STRAIGHT SAMANTHA JEAN.
Memorable gift-opening moment from your childhood.
One year, every time my Brother opened a present, I would say: “You can share that with me Matt!” Did I offer to share any of my presents? Of course not. It’s not necessarily a nice gift-opening moment from my childhood but it is an honest one.
When do you open and exchange presents?
We’re a Christmas morning present opening household.
When my Mom was a kid, she and her whole family would run around town right after midnight and open presents. She grew up in a very small town and was related to half of the people who lived there and it sounds like a great time. I feel like she’s always a little sad we didn’t grow up doing that.
Family’s Christmas traditions?
My Mom’s birthday is Christmas Day so a lot of our Christmas Eve, at least, traditions are centered on things she likes to do. We usually go to church and then to a nice dinner out somewhere. When we get home, my Brother and I each open one present which is always pajamas.
My Brother got married this year so the traditions might change a little bit. It’s going to be an adventure.
The very first thing you usually do on Christmas Day?
Be annoyed that everyone is being so loud trying to get me to wake up. (I am usually the last person awake.) Then, I immediately head towards the Danish Puff, our standard Christmas morning breakfast.
Favorite Christmas story?
I feel like this question is probably referring to universal Christmas stories but my favorite is actually a very specific family story—an epic tale that starts with steak and ends up at Kmart.
If you could have given yourself a piece of advice at the beginning of this year, what would it have been?
I really wish I had listened to Stanley Tucci this year. Sigh.
This week, paying subscribers were invited back into the monthly haiku salon with haikus all about our favorite way to say good-bye. If that sounds intriguing to you, consider becoming a paid subscriber. Remember, for the whole month of August, paid subscriptions are 10% off.
