Try-Hard
It takes a lot of effort to be a human.
When I was in college, there was a common sentiment among some of my friends that one of the worst things you could be seen as was a “try-hard.”
Of course, that seems silly now.
And I’m pretty sure the root of that is this weird cultural obsession with the appearance of “effortlessness.” There is a notion that the real people and the real work—the tastemakers, the people with real talent, the people who are destined to “make it,” the greatest work—is born out of some sort of magic. It/they must not be made through years of learning, trial-and-error, late nights, deep guttural groans, little successes, epic failures, self-doubt, unearned confidence, and the blind hope that it actually takes. It’s the idea that the best work springs fully formed from the head of a Greek god and if you can see the toil that went into it, it somehow diminishes the merit and/or quality of the work (or person).
To do things, to make things, to discover ourselves, to be human requires effort and it’s daft to pretend otherwise.
Now, part of the reason it was “bad” to be seen as a try-hard as a person is because the connotation was that it denoted some level of desperation, some lack of self-awareness, some level of “too much.” Looking at the Urban Dictionary definitions, the fraud created by “too much” is the crux of the problem.
Definition 1:
Try-hard is an adjective used to describe an individual who:
1) will try very hard to be good at something or fit in and eventually fails.Definition 2:
A person who puts a large amount of effort into achieving a certain image, or counter-image, to the point where it is obviously contrived.
These definitions both speak to what I feel like we were worried about being viewed as and speaks to the authority we felt we had when viewing other people. But, these definitions are dramatic. And this was a sentiment among new adults in an undergraduate theatre program—the most dramatic place of them all. Not a single person was not trying as hard as they could to be the unspoken ideal of a theatre artist and cool person.
Being that ideal while also not being seen as a try-hard was not only reliant on the effortlessness of it all. It also had to do with mystery. Above genuineness and vulnerability, was mystery and it was another obsession. At least for millennials in the early 2000s it was. Can’t let people know too much. Can’t let them know you have regular human needs like positive reinforcement, community, and support. Can’t let anyone know the many things you cycled through before you reached the current version of yourself. No no. You must be the coolest and most aloof version of yourself at all times. In fact, you have always been this. You appeared fully formed from…oh, I’ve already used that metaphor? Hmm.
Well, I’m bound to repeat myself because there are so many versions of me.
I went to a talk with a friend this week and as we were on our way to grab a bite afterwards, we walked by the Bryant Park ice skating rink. It was raining but there were a few intrepid skaters. I mentioned that I had ice skated as a kid…which then led me to recount some of the many many activities I’ve tried over the years.
Yes, my friends. I’ve tried so many things. Hard.
So, for today’s newsletter, I thought it would be fun to list all of the activities I’ve had an acquaintance with—passing or otherwise. I’ve included activities from childhood through now. Yes, that was a very long intro to get to a list. I have to keep you guessing somehow!
The activities on this list I consider ancillary to career pursuits although, many of them inform or are some part of the work I do, just maybe not the main element. I will put them into categories for both your sanity and mine. Another note: I’ll bold activities I still very much do and asterisk(*) activities that I haven’t done in a while but would absolutely do again.
Let’s take this ice-skate down activity lane, shall we?
SPORTS
Ice skating
Basketball
Volleyball
Tennis
Rollerblading
Biking*
Wake boarding
Swimming*
Tetherball
Badminton
Gymnastics
Ribbon dancing
Running
Hiking*
Frisbee
Softball
Walking
Bowling*
DANCING
Ballet
Tap
Square dancing
Scottish Country dancing
ARTS
Cartooning
Ceramics (both making items and just painting items)
Doodling
Collaging
Hand lettering
Painting (acrylic and watercolor)
Miniatures
Sewing in various forms
Friendship bracelet making
Graphic design
Video making/editing*
Yarn Crafts
DIY/Home decor
Coloring
THEATRE/PERFORMANCE
Acting*
Directing*
Stage management
Singing/Choir (show choir, regular choir, children’s choir, jazz)*
Trumpet
Recorder
Ukulele*
Stage combat*
Stage make-up*
Special effects make-up*
Costume making/cosplay
Improv*
Sketch Comedy*
Theatrical criticism
FOOD
Baking
Cake decorating
Cooking
Mixology*
WRITING
Late night TV writing*
Games writing*
Technical Writing
MISC.
Wedding officiating (contact me for your next get married related needs)
Plants
Card games*
Gaming*
Languages (German, Italian, French…mostly Duolingo)
Home organizing
Wielding
Alright that’s, um…that’s enough. More than enough. Unless I start antiquing more regularly…
Keep on try(p)ing, friends.
I do want to note that I’m not actually on Twitter and haven’t been for a long time. I tend to get these from Huffington Post round-ups. …in case that is important to you. And because I’m worried about being “in trouble.”
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