The Most Boring Version of Me
Have we talked about the weather lately?
Summer me is the most boring version of me all year.
I only have one topic for you: the weather.
Well, that’s not true. Since I have been unemployed/underemployed/trying to start a business for so long, my other topic is money. And since it was just the end of the month and the end of the month requires a lot of maths and I hate end of the month maths, it has been a well trod topic lately. But it’s not a specifically summer topic. It’s just another dimension of the boring version of me. …you’re welcome? (That’s doesn’t sound right.)
So, the boring summer Samantha is all weather all the time.
I’ve never been great in the heat. I was prone to heat exhaustion as a kid. That was also because I was never hydrated enough—an issue that has continued into adulthood. (Where is my water bottle?) But, most of the heat of my childhood was a dry heat. I lived in the desert-y part of Washington State and visited the Montana plains often. Upper 90s and over 100° sure, but a pure 100°.
Now, I sit still and I sweat my ass off. Despite being an East Coaster for nearing 11 years, I have not gotten any better at the wet heat. In fact, I think the humidity has made me worse at the heat. How? How could I get worse?? Well, I did. That’s probably a success of some sort!
There are lots of reasons, obviously, why weather is an overall topic of conversation. It’s a great equalizer for talking to people you don’t know well or don’t particularly care for. It can be shorthand for what your plans are for the weekend. Then, there is the big one. Of course, that is…reminiscing about my favorite childhood weatherman, Tom Sherry. I’m kidding. It’s a major topic because of climate change. Climate. Change.
But you already know that. I’m not here to be a downer. I’m here to be boring.
Check-in text about weekend plans from my parents? I lead with the weather and so do they. Texting with friends who live in different parts of the city? Well, of course, you have to know whether it’s raining there when it’s raining here. Looking forward to the weekend on a Monday? You best believe I’m looking at that forecast every day multiple times a day. I can absolutely tell you at what time it’s supposed to start raining and how high the humidity is.
Weather is also the default in any customer service interaction. Since my weekend job is a relatively chill customer service job, it’s right there—on the tip of my tongue. When people arrive to look at the art (or, more likely, stumble upon us when they stop by the cafe or take a trip to the restroom) we have them do a quick check-in on an ipad. And…what do you do when they are typing in their info? Stare straight ahead? Try to figure out what to do with your hands? Look off into the distance? Oh, well, since you’re doing that, you probably see the weather. So, you tell me what it’s doing out there right now.
You know, it’s not all boring. It can lead to more interesting conversations. I mentioned sitting outside reading and sweating all the while and two nice folx asked me what I was reading. There’s always a bit of a smile when you give someone the opportunity to complain about our shared experience. If they don’t have that to complain about, they’ll certainly have something else to complain about. We’re all here on this weird blue marble and there will always be something else to complain about.
For my job, the weather is actually a factor in whether we’re likely to be busy or not. Governors Island is fun and there are lots of activities, at least during the summer months. Most of the activities, however, are outside. So, if it tut tut looks like rain, people are less likely to hop the ferry and come visit. That means, yes, I watch the weather in regards to work. If no one is going to come in, there really isn’t much point to keeping the galleries open.
Today, it threatened to rain and half-assed rained for quite a bit of the day. Until, that is, about 5pm, when the skies opened up and let it fly. Since people were already on the island, we got busy there for a bit. Yes, escape the rain! Come see the art!
Unless the roof springs a leak. In the gallery. Directly over an art piece. That is tied to the wall with fishing line. And the rain keeps coming.
As a non-weather non-boring(?) side note: it is horrifying to watch water fall on someone’s art and realizing that the easiest and fastest way to solve this problem—move the piece—you can’t do because the way it is secured in place is necessary to keep it upright. Don’t worry. We were able to cover the art. And relatively quickly. But there were a few moments where I felt my heart might break because that’s someone’s art!
Moral of the story is: we closed the galleries early because of the leak. The weather strikes again. It even told me to that I was done working. How nice.
And how nice for you to spend an, admittedly, short time with this, the most boring version of me. You’re welcome. (That still doesn’t sound right.)
Oh, there is one more thing. A rainbow. Just for you.
Seriously, all the time.
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