The Anatomy of a Letterboard

I have a folder full of photos called: Letterboard Laments.

Well well well. Look at me. Getting this newsletter out a little bit earlier today than usual.

I am continuing on with the subscription donation project. For December and January, the organization is the Radical Monarchs. If you are new here (welcome!) or need a refresher, you can always find more details of the project on my About page. Also, if you want to be a matching donor, let me know.

I have also decided to extend the paid subscription discount offer! Paid subscriptions are 10% off for the whole next year as a celebration for NYC Decade-aversary. If you want to upgrade, now is a great time.

It’s also also always a great time to share the newsletter. I bet you’d agree. Right?

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Sometime in 2016, after I had moved into my first Astoria place, I bought myself a letterboard.

Letterboards are funny. Particularly if you’re buying them as decor for your own house. I firmly believe you should surround yourself with things that you like, that bring you joy, and not necessarily think about who might visit when you set up your space. Yet, you put words on a letterboard for some purpose, whether that be the you of the future or potential visitors or both. And depending on what you put on the letterboard, there is a potential that it starts to feel like a “Live Laugh Love” sign. 

Although…if that’s your jam, Live Laugh Letterboard it up, my friend!

(Side note: I looked for a gif that said, “You do you” but there are none that don’t look/sound snarky. So.)

A letterboard, like most home decor, is one of those mundane things that can turn out to be actually meaningful depending on the day. It’s something that requires little thought but if you do need something to distract you, it’s something that can take a lot of thought, and time, if you want it to. 

As evidenced by an entire newsletter edition dedicated to the subject, I have given it a lot of thought. And also, I feel like we’re due for more lighthearted fodder here, so this feels like a good subject for exactly that. 

So, what makes a good quote for a letterboard? 

Whatever the fuck you want, babes. End of newsletter.

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Just kidding; I’m still here!

My letterboard sayings seem to fall into four distinct categories:
Holiday and/or Time of Year Specific
Media Obsessions
Miscellany
Things that make you say, “Shut up Letterboard!”

Holiday and/or Time of Year Specific
For me, these mostly appear from as soon as I get into spooky season until just after the New Year. In those three or four months, I cycle through sayings a lot more than other times of the year—probably a new one every month or so. 

It’s all the usual suspects: Hocus Pocus, Clue, Elf, Muppet Christmas Carol, Nightmare Before Christmas, the Rankin & Bass specials. Possibly a quote from Charlie Brown Christmas, if I am feeling saucy. (Ha ha ha, saucy with the most tame of all the holiday specials.)

This category is mostly to make myself happy. To prove my love of the specialness of the time of year. To bring me joy and get songs stuck in my head. To remind me about what season it is if I have lost all sense of time.

Simple but, you know, effective. 

Media Obsessions
This seems to be a relatively common one among people who have letterboards. It’s always the easiest place to start. What quotes are stuck in your head? Put that up! Watching the show/movie/whatever and something makes you laugh so hard you get the old man wheeze? That’s a good candidate too! 

From what I could find in my picture folder, my letterboard media obsessions have covered two things: Schitts Creek and Our Flag Means Death. 

(I did also used the OFMD quote: “I used the stun move!” for a while. No pics but it did happen.)

Twist or no twist for these things with me? (No twist.)

Miscellany Quotes
This is my catch-all category, of course.

First, there’s this quote from Muppet Treasure Island:

also, check out my masterful Nightmare Before Christmas craft

I am including this here because while, yes, Muppet Treasure Island is a movie (one of the greatest), it’s really Tim Curry who is the focus of this obsession here. Any quote that I pull from him, would go in this category. Hm…maybe I should make a Tim Curry Quotes section…

Then there is this quote that should be read in a Christopher Walken voice:

This was inspired by my friend Becca and honestly, I can’t remember if it’s a real quote from something (perhaps A Behanding in Spokane??) but when I read it, I hear it in Becca’s Christopher Walken voice and I smile every time.

So, this basically illustrates quotes that make me think of people I love.

The last major section of this category is invoked by this quote:

Some years ago, a couple of friends and I were chatting through our Zodiac stuff, as us millennials are wont to do, and I mentioned that I have a Leo moon. My friend Kate responded with, “Ooooo, that makes sense.” I gave her a bit of a quizzical look and she said, “You quote your own plays.”

Such a deep pinprick, you’d think she had a voodoo doll of me. (...do you, Kate?)

So, yes, this is a quote from my own play. It’s from …and a Dog Named Jesus—my part drug thriller, part romcom, part dark com(edy) all set against a backdrop of a megachurch and a failing indie newspaper. NO SPOILERS so I won’t tell you what the quote is referring to but I will say, it’s actually stage direction.

I couldn’t find a photo of it but I’m also relatively sure I’ve put up this quote before as well: “Sad men are the greatest detriment to any business.” That is from my Cherry Orchard sequel These Mistakes. And is also just true. *gestures vaguely around*

And finally:
Things that make you say, “Shut up Letterboard!”
Sometimes, you have to remind yourself of things. Or, you have to inspire yourself to do things. Or you have to scold yourself in some way. Particularly when you live alone, a letterboard is a good shortcut for this. Those words will still get said at you even if no one else is in the house. 

My current quote is definitely a “Shut Up Letterboard!” quote:

from Anne Carson’s Autobiography of Red

It’s like the letterboard knows I’m having a hard time and is trying to remind me to keep going even if I can’t see the end. It’s like it’s telling me that things can and will change. It’s like the letterboard is a stand-in for my therapist in-between sessions. 

It’s spooky, I tell you. SPOOKY.

And while every time I see the letterboard, my first instinct is to say DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO LETTERBOARD, I’ll admit, it’s making a good point. Maybe I should listen.