Hello y’all!
Two housekeeping things:
Today is the last day of July and, so, the last day of this month’s subscription donation project! The organization for July is Indigenous Women Rising. If you are new here (welcome!) or need a refresher about the project, you can always find more details of the project on my About page.
So, if you are enjoying this newsletter or connecting to it at all, I’d love if you would like, comment, share it or give it a social media shout out to help make the impact go farther. And, you know, my own finances are… so any interaction or sharing would be extra helpful. THANK YOU! ALL CAPS!When we reach 100 subscribers, I’ll start taking selfie submissions which I think will be FUN.
And, as always, thank you for being here. It really means so much to me.
My apartment in Queens, New York is 2,181.98 miles from my parents’ home in Eastern Washington state. New York is 2,413.19 miles from Seattle which is where a large portion of my friends live. That distance often feels large but it’s also easy to forget about in normal circumstances. When it is unclear when you will see anyone in person again, that distance feels nearly insurmountable.
Enter Zoom. Y’all know Zoom. And various forms of video calling/meeting. Obviously, these systems have been around for a while but starting early in the pandemic, Zoom became the major method of connection. Calendars were filled with Teams meetings for work. There were Zoom happy hours, Google hangout movie nights. An in-person proxy, living on Zoom felt a bit like living in the uncanny valley to me. Only it is real people. And not androids. It’s androids transmitting the real people to other real people. Is this inception? I’m getting off track.
There are some tough things about video calls. There are internet issues and lag times. There are considerations about the best place to set up all the equipment. It is exhausting to stare at a screen for an extended period of time. It requires a different sort of focus then when you are in person. It’s connection but still kind of artificial. Plus, there is a little square somewhere on the screen that acts as a funhouse mirror, giving you angles of your face you never knew you didn’t want.
These video calls (and IM-ing) were also a lifeline. At least for me. They inspired creativity and deep camaraderie during weekly themed happy hours. They allowed me to be in more consistent contact with people so far away. And, of course, the family had to get in on the act too.
But a family Zoom is a very specific type of Zoom. Some of my extended family, I haven’t seen in four years. Some of them I haven’t seen in nearly a decade. Regular Zooms require coping skills and good humor. Family Zooms require deep knowledge of familial dynamics and survival skills. And good humor. (That one is the same.)
Yes, I have created another list. So, here are some of the tips and tricks I picked up during family zooms:
Come prepared with jokes and snark. I mean, this is how I approach life so it is definitely applicable here. Dad jokes are fine. A surprisingly truthful but sarcastic tidbit is better. Unexpected laughter really brings the fun.
Have a buddy to text on the side. Send your most sarcastic comments here so you can avoid time out. This will also allow you to divert your focus a bit and stave off some of that screen exhaustion.
If multiple people are using computers in the same house, be in separate rooms. This is like calling the radio station with the radio on. “Turn your radio down!” You want to avoid the feedback. But really, you want to avoid the inevitable three minutes where everyone is telling everyone else what they already know is happening and that someone needs to go to a different room.
Know that if multiple people in the same household are all in the same room on the same device, they will talk to each other like they haven’t seen each other in a fortnight. Their conversation will become a Gothic love letter. “My dearest, it has been four minutes since we finished dining together and I want to remind you that the dishes await your attention upon your return.”
Give my Dad a pillow. He may fall asleep in the background.
You better know what the weather is doing.
Up to an hour is the ideal amount of time for this kind of Zoom.
In case my family ever reads this, I should also say for legal reasons, any similarity to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events, is purely coincidental.
But seriously, someone get my Dad a pillow.
Monday, July 27, 2020
Do y’all see that lady in the background? Or am I the only one who sees her?
Tuesday, July 28, 2020
Am I breaking my ceiling fan or fixing it? Only time will tell.
Wednesday, July 29, 2020
Notice the resemblance?
Thursday, July 30, 2020
Yep. That’s my face.
Friday, July 31, 2020
This one speaks for itself.
Saturday, August 1, 2020
Baking or just eating? Another great question.
Sunday, August 2, 2020
Dance Dance Revolution.* (*all my joints hurt)
This week, paying subscribers received the newly launched monthly rejection haikus as well as a new poem. It was a very literary week. If that sounds intriguing to you, consider becoming a paid subscriber.