Good Doesn't Matter
To be creative, all you have to do is create
Good doesn’t matter.
I’m talking in terms of creativity. And in terms of creativity, good doesn’t matter.
It’s a philosophy I’ve actually had for a lot of my life although have only articulated more recently. Currently, I’m trying to articulate many of my existential and “head-y” ideas around creativity into more straightforward language. Or, at least, trying to pinpoint what I actually think. I’m hoping that this is an activity that will have a wider benefit than just to myself and my work. For the last couple of months, I’ve been in the weeds of launching a business as a creative consultant.
This announcement was meant to come with a little more fanfare. I figured I would pick a date and make the declaration, hire a medieval brass band, and wave a flag as I wander the streets, accidentally hitting people in the face with it when I ran onto subway cars at the end of the celebration. But, also, why wait? Well, logistically, I was going to wait until I have a new website so I could immediately and over-zealously scream, “HIRE ME FOR ALL YOUR CREATIVITY NEEDS.” The work of setting up a business takes time, though. While I had hoped that as soon as I vaguely mentioned the idea, I would have a full client roster, I do know that that is unrealistic. (A person can dream!) In light of the thoughts I’ve been mulling over for today’s edition, the fact that while not super formalized yet, I can do this work immediately, and based on what I said in an email to friends and family when I soft-launched the business: in the spirit of doing things before you are ready, this email (well, newsletter) is an Open for Business sign.
Wow, exciting! Do we all need a minute? I, maybe, need five.
But that’s not actually the main point of today’s newsletter. The main point is that, again, in creativity, good doesn’t matter.
This thought plays like that end-of-the-night television static noise constantly in my brain. It’s static because while I’m not always paying attention to it or am trying to ignore it, it’s always there. Some days, I actively try to turn it off because I’m certain it’s actually a lie, nothing more than the final sound after a whole day of other stuff. Yet, somehow, the tv always turns back on. And often, I’m also trying to turn this particular static on for other people’s tvs and radios.
It’s been particularly loud lately, because working through all the logistics of my business philosophies (is a thing I think you are supposed to do), yes, but because it also seems to be on the minds of a lot of other creative people. In particular, this past week, I took a Create + Engage Workshop with Anna Brones and it was something that was discussed by the community in a roundabout way.
Fun side note: That workshop had a lovely serendipitous moment when it turned out my friend Natalie (hi Natalie!!) was also there. How nice to feel like you’re in the same room with a far away friend for a short period of time.
In my work with a couple of friends, one who is newer to the type of writing she’s doing and one who is getting back into it after years of very real blocks, I feel like it’s the undercurrent of everything we’re trying to do. It’s hard to believe good doesn’t matter. But, I think, whether you believe it or not, it’s a necessary mantra to allowing and cultivating creativity in your life.
Most of the systems we operate under in the modern age are set up to disconnect us from our creative impulses. Creativity is for, among other things, play and joy and reflection and healing which means, usually, they aren’t methods of making money. Capitalism teaches us that if it doesn’t make money or isn’t a conventional form of “productivity” it’s not worthwhile. It’s a negative, not a positive. If you deign to do something creative anyway—knit, fingerpaint, cook, write, see a play or a movie—the common refrain is that if it’s not good and/or you’re not good at it, it’s not worthwhile. Furthermore, if you don’t monetize the creative hobby, then you absolutely should not do it. Capitalism asks, “What will it do for you?” Then it answers before you can get a word in edgewise, “Nothing!”
“Good” is the ultimate gatekeeper. We live lives where there are already an abundance of actual gatekeepers so it feels cruel that one gatekeeper that can stop us so directly is an existential one. The arbiters of “good” are much happier if art feels like it has to be Art with a capital A and/or it has to be something that can be monetized. They know that not everyone will be able to monetize. They know that not everyone will show work in public or win awards or get accolades. And they also know that if monetization and accolades or awards feel like a necessity to even do the thing in the first place, people will not do it. They want Art to be inaccessible. They want the expansiveness of creativity to appear to be a tiny dot somewhere on the horizon.
As someone who has been telling stories since she was two years old, who has been writing poetry since grade school and writing plays since high school, as someone who has been an actor and who has a major doodling, diy, and craft habit, I can tell you that “good” is a moving target and you are not equipped with the right tools to hit it. Productions, showings, public distribution, consistent sharing (such as a newsletter), accolades, awards, etc are nice but I would argue proving that the work is “good” is not the point of them. There are certainly people who make Art or write or perform or whatever with the purpose of being “good” but, in my experience, most people make art, write, perform, doodle, knit etc. because they have some something to explore, to share, need a way to find joy, want something to do with their hands, and so on. They do it simply because they want to or, something deep inside tells them they have to.
The issue with “good” is that we were taught, simply by living in the world, that there is a rubric for it. If you or your work hits certain points or achieves certain things, it (and you, by extension) will be good and considered a success and you will have done it. You made an Art. You are an Artist.
Moving target, remember? You can achieve goals you set for yourself. But milemarkers and finish lines that they have developed are inflexible and most people have to overcome a deficit before they can even buy running shoes to make any attempts. If you make an attempt and get too close, the finish line will move. No one will tell you but it will move. You’ll be sweaty and out of breath, looking around at where the finish line was supposed to be and you’ll start to doubt you knew where it was in the first place.
“Good” is something that is decided outside of you. It’s something that you will have very little control over ultimately. There is a whole…many other conversations to have about artistic criticism and merit, what is good, and so on. Intertwined with that are, for starters, conversations about arts instruction and its toxicity, arts as a career, arts related financial things that no one ever taught us, and rejection and how to take that. But in the simple act of making art, writing, exploring creativity on your own for your own benefit, there is no “good.” “Good” is a block. There only is doing it.
, whose newsletter I blissfully stumbled on recently, had a great one this week about cleaning out her studio as she gets ready to move. She discusses getting rid of the work that no longer serves her as well as other artists who notoriously destroyed their own work. I think there is a lot of merit to that. I would not say I’m a huge proponent of making a consistent habit of destroying your work partially because you learn from what you made previously (I won’t call them mistakes) but also because other people will learn from your attempts. However, I do think there’s something to knowing that you can try something and get rid of it.Even if we scrap an old piece of work, recycle a piece of paper with a jumble of notes, are we ever fully getting rid of our underlying ideas? We may not remember the exact wording or composition that we came up with once it has left our hands, but that doesn’t erase it from our muscle memory.
To make “bad” art, to write an assortment of “bad” sentences—it’s all just practice. Whether or not we keep what we came up with, the practice has already been done, already been logged in the brain and the body. Already information for the next piece.
Create, Keep, Destroy? - Creative Fuel with Anna Brones
There’s something to knowing that whatever you create doesn’t have to be permanent and actually, you don’t have to share it with anyone if you don’t want to. You don’t have to be “good” at it right away. Or ever. You can just enjoy it. There’s something to knowing that everyone who tries something creative likely also wants to destroy something they’ve made at some point along the way, from the very famous writers to a distant relative who painted the landscape out their window. And, ultimately, it really is true that you can absolutely destroy a thing you’ve made if you don’t like it.
Because I think that’s the crux of the whole thing. It’s whether you like it or not. It’s whether it serves you or not. You don’t have to have goals for whatever creative thing you’re trying. You can, of course. Often, the best goal is to finish. To get all of something out. Or, actually, the best goal might be to just start. But you can also do it just to do it. To give it a shot. You can share every attempt with anyone you want to. You can never tell anyone you tried it at all. Ultimately, it’s really about finding how you feel the best expressing yourself. It’s about exploring all the tools you have to tell your own story, to explore how you exist in the world, to make discoveries about the greater world, to find joy. There are no rules for having Art or art in your life. To be a creative person, you only have to create, however that makes sense to you.
Creativity is not a tiny dot. It’s a circle. As you approach it, it’s always getting bigger.
I am continuing on with the subscription donation project. For June and July, the organization is Southern Fried Queer Pride. If you are new here (welcome!) or need a refresher, you can always find more details on the project on my About page.
Paid subscribers help fund my writing life. SO, I have also decided to extend the paid subscription discount offer! Paid subscriptions are 10% off for the whole next year as a celebration for NYC Decade-aversary. If you want to upgrade, between now and August is a great time. Or, if a one time support is more your thing, my venmo is @samjeancoop.
It’s also also always a great time to share the newsletter. Especially because it might help me get business…
Love this one. Also for the record, I think there should still be a medieval brass band involved at some point.