Everyone's Weird Aunt
And this Weird Aunt has some promises for you
Oh my goodness, hiiiiii. Long time, no talk. I had only planned to take one week off but I was traveling and then I was lucky enough to get the flu so, my body forced me to take another week off. (And also miss a monthly haiku salon…oops. Thanks to all my very kind and patient paid subscribers for seemingly(?) letting me off the hook.) My whole family thinks I always get sick when I come to visit and while the evidence would suggest they are right, I still say HEY. And UGH.
But I’m pretty much over being sick (beyond regular sinus stuff) and back in my tiny New York apartment, watching home improvement shows and not being very good at handling my jet lag. And, most importantly, I’m back writing to you. Aren’t you lucky??
My recent trip to visit my family (with a side quest to Las Vegas) was a momentous and exciting occasion—my brother and his wife had a bébé. She is very new, only about a month old right now. I didn’t actually think I’d get to see her this early. I also had the aforementioned flu so I didn’t actually get to see her much but I did get to see her and to meet her. It made my heart flutter. A new bébé is exciting but what actually made me the most happy is how happy my brother is. He’s worked so hard to have a certain stability in his life and I know being a dad was a real goal for him. Well, he started by being a stepdad and now he’s a stepdad and a dad(?) dad and I’m so excited for him.
I’m also excited for myself. This is not the first tiny child in my life and it’s unlikely to be the last (I think). And I’m not going to lie, I love being a Weird Aunt to the children in my life. Family kids, friend’s kids, I LOVE love it. In general, my hope is to be a positive presence in people’s lives and I especially want that to be true for the children I have the privilege of knowing, whether near or far. The world is scary, we all know that. So, if I can be a person who makes the kids feel noticed, laugh, and feel safe, I will have done my job.
Of course, it’s more than just that. So, these are my Weird Aunt pledges to you, the children (and by extension, the parents/guardians/caregivers) in my life:
I promise to always go directly to the toys when I come visit because, let me tell you what, I’m just as excited by them as you are.
Don’t worry though, I learned how to share as a kid so I promise I’ll share…most of the time.
I promise to accidentally teach you funny words that will make me laugh just as much as they make you laugh.
In fact, I’ll probably laugh as much as you laugh anyway. Your joy brings me joy and you deserve to have that reflected back to you.
On that note, I’ll certainly be telling you lots of jokes.
Once you start talking, you’re gonna talk a lot. I probably won’t catch everything you say but I will always be listening and smiling and nodding.
The whole world will be new to you for a while; you’re going to learn so many things so quickly. I promise to live in the awe of what you’re learning and let that remind me to look at things in a new way. And once the learning isn’t happening so rapidly anymore, I promise to ask you the question I still get asked sometimes: “Did you learn anything new today?”
You can bet I’m going to be a good person for a play date and some good relief for your parents…after you are potty-trained pretty darn well.
We will be watching Muppet Treasure Island. I would say, “I promise” to that but honestly, you don’t have a choice. It’s going on the list anyway.
When you are ready to start putting on plays, I promise not to be tooooooooooo much of a bossy director. And I also promise not to give myself the lead. (Every time. Probably.)
I’ve got great recipes for cookies, cakes, biscuits, so many baked goods and I’m ready to share them. And when you’re ready, I promise to teach them to you. And teach you how to bake the right way that my grandmother taught me—by getting flour everywhere.
Even if I don’t get to see you very much or, maybe and unfortunately, barely ever, I promise to think of you often and root you on every step of your journey.
I promise to always always be excited to receive photos and videos of you from your parents.
There’s probably a postcard or two in your future.
If you end up selling food stuffs for school, groups, whatever, I pledge to always let you pitch to me. And, financially depending, maybe I’ll buy a thing or two. Probably only food stuffs though. I can’t eat wrapping paper.
Additionally, I’m excited to support your pursuits, hobbies, sportsball teams, all of it.
When I need to, I pledge to listen more than I talk.
Figuring out who you are is a lifelong process. I promise to support you through that process and let you know that you matter just because you exist. And, I especially promise to make sure you know: being who you are is never wrong.
Your parents/caregivers are learning just as much as you are through this whole thing. They have strength I can’t fathom. Taking care of children is hard. I promise to support them and remind them how so fucking cool and impressive they are as much as I can. And that also means, letting them complain about you whenever they need to.
I also promise to be a friend to them, specifically. And to remind them that they are still their own people and they get to pursue all the things that are important to them.
Your parents are in charge of your well-being and my loyalty is also to your well-being.
I promise to be myself as much as I can. I promise to live as authentically and truthfully as I can. I want you to see and to know that there are as many ways to live as there are people and being a little outside the norm is not a bad thing at all.
I pledge to revisit these pledges often and add to and update them as much as necessary. Because I know that I will be learning, too, along the whole way.
There’s a lot about the state of the world, especially now, that gives me (to put it lightly) anxiety. But to be able to witness how my friends and family grow and take care of themselves and each other feels pretty reassuring. And to see how all that growing and caregiving has now come to include the next generation makes my heart light.
Thank you to my people. For keeping me around.
I love a family portrait.
THANK YOU for reading. Very seriously, thank you. If you’d like to learn more about the newsletter, here’s my About page. It’s about…me…and this…newsletter.
Paid subscriptions are always nice so if you want to upgrade, I wouldn’t stop you. Or, if a one time support is more your thing, my venmo is @samjeancoop. No matter what—paid, not paid, weird or weirdest family member—I’m just grateful you’re here.
Sharing is also nice. Sharing is a great kind of support. Sharing is, in fact, caring.
Weird Aunts Club forever.