Blueprint for a Spring Clean
The Week in Selfies: 4/19/21 - 4/25/21
Good Sunday evening friends. [Insert amusing quip and tweet here.]
I am continuing on with the subscription donation project. The organization for April is Lupus LA. This is a great organization suggested by my wonderful friend Kelsey. Kelsey is also great and I highly suggest you check out her TikTok. If you are new here (welcome!) or need a refresher, you can always find more details of the project on my About page. And if you want to be a matching donor, let me know.
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Have you ever noticed that adulthood is basically just finding ways to lament the passage of time (I can’t believe it’s already…, How is it already…, Well, it’s that time of year again…) and saying them back-and-forth with whoever is in the same vicinity as you every day until you die? Hm?
Anyway…
It’s that time of year again. Spring time! Historically, the first part of the year is a rough time for me so I am often white-knuckling it until the days get a little longer, the greenery starts to come back, and I wake up every morning with clogged sinuses. I am happy to report that this year has maintained the trend (we did it!) and I have been hanging on for dear life. My common refrain in this, the year of our Mary Tyler Moore, has been, “If I can make it to April…”
Spring is my goal, I think, because I really treat it like my New Years. I don’t understand celebrating a new year in the darkest part of winter, when your fun and sparkly outfits are obscured by huge winter coats, scarves, and hats. (Yeah, like I go places.) When I start a new year, I don’t want to start it by putting on layers; I want to start it by shedding layers. Less clothes, less stuff, new start.
Because of this, I love, love, a spring clean. It is at least a one-month event in my household. There is purging. There is dusting. There is buying. There is list making. I really turn it into a good. time. (Wow, I’m a nerd.)
I know I’m not the only one who loves this sort of thing. Well, I know I’m not the only one who feels like they need it to start fresh. So, I thought I would share my blueprint for a spring clean. It’s a list! Because I love them! See previous paragraph! Here we go!:
In March, when walking around the apartment, start to notice all the things you no longer need, all the things that you will be gleeful to get rid of. Cackle a little bit to yourself.
Also start thinking about all the stuff you want to buy to help the cleaning. New storage maybe. Definitely better cleaning supplies. And also stuff you just want.
Starting in early April, add “write spring cleaning list” on your weekly to-do list in your planner. Don’t actually make the list. Write it in the planner for a couple weeks in a row.
Okay, now you can make the list. First, write the list out on a piece of printer paper.
Then, get out your list-specific notebook. Spend too much time writing fancy headings and doodling borders. They might look something like this:
Some years, you might draw a full calendar out. In those years, you plan to devote one week to each of the four small rooms in your tiny apartment. In other years, write the to-dos for each specific room but don’t set a schedule. Be loose about it. Be floppy about it. Be as random as you please.
Also write out the list of things to buy. If you are extra motivated, price out these items and write those prices on the list. Realize you definitely do not have enough $$ to buy all those things. Keep the list the same anyway.
Feel accomplished because you can finally check the box next to “write spring cleaning list” on your weekly to-dos in your planner. Put the list notebook away. Possibly never look at it again. It’s in your brain, it’s fine.
Wait another week or two to start the whole process. But think about it every single day.
Actually, start right away…with buying stuff. Buy random things off the list. Not the things that should probably be bought first. Other things.
Get motivated one random early evening and ruthlessly go through your closet, making a huge pile in your living room. Divide the huge pile into two smaller piles: things to send to Thredup and things that go elsewhere.
Look around the room and remember that with spring cleaning, things often get messier before they get cleaner. Feel a bit anxious about the piles. Know that you will probably not get the piles out of here for a little bit. Go to your room so you don’t have to look at the piles.
Over the next few weeks, slowly but surely start to clear things out. Make more piles. Research places to donate to and/or sell. Spend a lot of time avoiding your living room.
Optional: Hit a very bad depressive episode that fully stalls out the spring cleaning so that spring cleaning becomes spring and summer cleaning. It’s fine. It’s totally fine. You will finish by June…er, middle of July.
Finally, package up the piles and start to send them or take items to friends or donate them.
Look at that, the living room is back to neutral! …now you gotta clean, I guess.
Okay, pull out the list. Look at it. There are still many steps.
Realize you are leaving for about a month in just a few weeks so the deep clean has to happen now and it has to happen quickly.
Probably do the whole deep clean in one weekend. It smells so clean. Don’t touch anything! You’ll scuff it all up!
Try very hard not to disrupt all your hard work when you have to pull out your suitcase from the depths of your closet to pack.
There you have it. A blueprint for a very simple spring clean. Just follow these twenty steps and your fresh start is only a few weeks…months…away.
Monday, April 19, 2021
My friend, you do not have enough hair to be auditioning for The Ring yet.
Tuesday, April 20, 2021
This is what happened to Cher’s career.
Wednesday, April 21, 2021
Look at me smile like I’m going to go outside.
Thursday, April 22, 2021
Two of the greats.
Friday, April 23, 2021
Moody.
Saturday, April 24, 2021
Is it a twist or no twist?
Sunday, April 25, 2021
No twist. I’m in my room, avoiding the piles.
This week, paying subscribers got a brand new poem about a summer’s day in April. If that sounds intriguing to you, consider becoming a paid subscriber.
Yea whose idea was it to try and have us start fresh in the middle of WINTER. When it’s still cold and dark and we want to sleep