A Non-Sports Person Makes a Sports(ish) Metaphor
The Week in Selfies: 2/8/21 - 2/14/21
Happy Superb Owl to all who celebrate. Much Sportsball! Very game!
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By now, the Super Bowl is over. I said to someone last night that today’s newsletter would not be about the Super Bowl but, you know, there is confetti streaming down through the air somewhere. There are happy tears and sad tears. Someone is going to Disneyland. The cleaning crew is getting ready to take the field. So.
I am not, what you might call, a “sports person.” I never really have been. My Mom made a deal with me in middle school; I could do theatre but I also had to do one sport a year. I think she was hoping something would stick. Sorry Mom, nothing did. And also the 7th grade volleyball girls were MEAN.
My immediate family is only four but we did have yearly sports competitions as well. Girls against Boys, two on two basketball and two on two football. They were highly competitive and I am certain there was lots of crying and claiming unfairness and plenty of injuries too. The winners always made the losers do something ridiculous but overall, who won any of those things, I have no idea.
Even without being a sports person, one of the funnest things to do is to pull out what sports knowledge I have at random times. I did that at a bar once. The Final Four was on and I made some comment about a play that happened and the person I was with looked at me like I had sprung an extra head.
When you ungracefully tried every sport there is as a kid, are from the Gonzaga basketball town (I have and will always maintain that Mark Few looks like a skeleton), and your Dad falls asleep clutching the remote on Sunday afternoons with football on, you pick up a thing or two along the way.
But, obviously, sports aren’t really my sport of choice. I’d say, baking is.
Did she bring it back to baking like she nearly always does? You bet your empty plates, my friends!
I was thinking about this yesterday as I was making a friend’s birthday cake. (Happy Birthday Sam! …a different one, not me.) It was a classic red velvet cake and I have it on good authority that it was pretty good. Here’s some photo evidence:
I was thinking about how baking is like sports mostly because of how long it can take. Yesterday, I made the cake in one day which, depending on the type of cake or dessert, it can sometimes take days. But yesterday, much like today’s Super Bowl festivities and game, it was a full day marathon. From cake baking to chilling to making frosting to assembling and decorating to taking it to the party, eating it, and then trekking home, it was an 11 am to midnight sort of day. I was tired, had had some whiskey, and was happy to have the great outcome of making my friend happy.
Much like the aftermath of the superbowl, the worst part of a game of baking is the set up and then the clean up. I’m using “clean” loosely here as never, in my life, has it been much of a clean process. Despite the fact that I have some aprons gifted to me but a few wonderful people, I never manage to remember to put one on. So, immediately, I have flour all down my front. I don’t have much counter space so all the supplies are everywhere. And I don’t have a dishwasher so I’m either doing dishes constantly or saving them all to the end and being mad at past Samantha for thinking this was the way to go.
And yes, there are occasionally injuries. I store my kitchen aid above my fridge so it’s always precarious getting it down. Baking is hot (surprise) and knives and other tools can be sharp (double surprise).
At the end of the day (bake), I’m always happy I did it. Even if it fails a little bit, I’m still glad.
I’m happy to have done it especially when my humor feels far away and my brain is not in it; I still have some topic to fall back on and some dumb lesson to pull out of the sugar. And I’ve gotten really good at a photo finish.
Monday, February 8, 2021
Business on top. Lazy on the bottom.
Tuesday, February 9, 2021
When in doubt, instagram filter it out.
Wednesday, February 10, 2021
This is where flour always ends up.
Thursday, February 11, 2021
I wish I knew, Samantha.
Friday, February 12, 2021
Would this picture make me big on queer dating apps? Anyone know?
Saturday, February 13, 2021
Bagels! (Pay no attention to the joining of the circle.)
Sunday, February 14, 2021
And the world rejoice when Brandy’s Cinderella finally came to Disney+.
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