A Different Kind of Gift
The Week in Selfies: 12/7/20 - 12/13/20
And a ho ho ho to y’all.
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Considering I live in a one bedroom apartment, there are a surprising amount of doorways to adorn with garland. And they are all adorned. The artificial 5-ft tree is up in my living room and the 2-ft tree sits above my stocking on the bookshelf next to the TV in my bedroom. Multi-colored lights, white lights, and LED candles are glowing throughout. On Friday night, I did a Ruskin and Bass marathon. My letterboard sings Heat Miser’s iconic song to me. I’ve been rotating through my holiday t-shirts and socks and wearing my homemade cropped string light sweatshirt. For all intents and purposes, it is a holiday explosion up in here.
I’m not feeling very holiday-y yet this year.
Fearing the mental strain of my first ever full holiday season alone in 2020, I dove head first into any and all ways to make myself feel festive. My parents kindly sent the tree and a collection of my childhood ornaments. I put out a call for friends to send ornaments as well if they were so inclined. There was a constant barrage of Christmas movies and holiday playlists on. It was the first year I sent out a holiday card. I really tried anything I could think of to have a nice time in not nice circumstances. And honestly, it worked pretty well. I made it through the 2020 holiday season pretty well. (The aftermath is a story for the new year.)
But I’m not feeling very holiday-y yet this year.
I have been accused of being an excellent gift giver. And normally, I have to say, guilty as charged. Giving gifts is one of my absolute favorite things to do. I listen closely and take notes and keep lists all year long, writing down the smallest of details whenever they come up. Technically, I’m never without gift ideas. Yet, currently, I am generally uninspired.
And I’m not feeling very holiday-y yet this year.
The season really snuck up on me. I was overly ready for spooky season. And even though the rest of the holidays always follow closely after, I have not been prepared. It could be the weird weather that New York is having. It could be the sprained ankle that pushed back my decorating plans. It could be the fact that, in general, my body seems to have thrown in the towel. It could just be the feeling that has arisen this year.
When I mention that I’m not feeling very holiday-y, the reaction has been, “Really? That’s not like you.” I tend to agree.
So, in light of all this, I’ve decided to give myself the first gift of the year. I’ve decided to lower my expectations and push less. Instead, I’m going to let myself wait-and-see. I’m giving myself some holiday merriment patience.
Monday, December 7, 2020
Justin Bieber, is that you?
Tuesday, December 8, 2020
The lights of Astoria.
Wednesday, December 9, 2020
2020 was a lot of Zoom waiting.
Thursday, December 10, 2020
The trees of Astoria.
Friday, December 11, 2020
The theme was “costume box” so I basically just stuck my head in mine.
Saturday, December 12, 2020
Baking gifts in 2020.
Sunday, December 13, 2020
I’m sensing a color story here.
This week, paying subscribers got a little insight into how my brain is full soup. If that sounds intriguing to you, consider becoming a paid subscriber.